Jesus Wept

So I took this Quiz because I'm a sucker for Quizzes:


http://www.playbuzz.com/hannahr10/what-is-your-life-verse?excludeGameIds=fa15b125-c1bf-4314-8376-ff86b4eb2a07_d60a2885-4846-455e-8ae5-9360a99e6530_1d047cb8-0fa3-46cf-907a-8acd002a3d09_736392f1-a1af-4f3c-b065-3a7ef9de14be_3e3f6aaf-29f6-4ccc-bd4a-856d570f2245_363d09e8-8f45-4328-ac5c-f23fe7918fe9_97236f9d-106e-4d92-8e68-d9535dec3d2a_6b4ecda4-5a76-48c6-9fed-d649eb40878e

Which Bible Verse really speaks to you and matches your personality?

LET'S PLAY!

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Which place appeals to you the most?

x

Rivendell

Your Bed

New York City

Grand Canyon

Oxford

Promised Land

Africa

How would people describe you?

x

Secure

Life of the party.

Peaceful

Fashionable

A good listener

Hopeful

Well-spoken

Who do you relate to best?

x

Galadriel

Emma Watson

Richard Dawkins

Granny Puckett

Paul

The Rock

Aragorn

What is your biggest struggle?

x

Circumstances overwhelm you and you can't see how anything good could ever come out of it.

You just wish people would use common sense.

You don't feel secure.

You really just constantly crave some peace.

There just aren't enough hours in the day to fit in enough skydiving, bungee-jumping, and hang-gliding.

You spend too much time in the mirror.

Too many people to help, not enough time or leading.

What is your favorite book genre?

x

Textbooks

Self-help

Romance

Mystery

Religion

Adventure

Magazines

How do you spend your free time?

x

Reading.

Daydreaming about the future.

With closest friends.

Snowboarding!

Debating!

Shopping.

Bubble Bath,

Which picture appeals to you the most?

x

Calculating...

I wanted to know what my life verse was because when everything goes right/wrong in my life I cling to Jesus. This is what I got...

John 11:35

"Jesus wept" is the perfect passage for you because you are a compassionate and empathetic person. God has given you the ability to feel others pain. But that means you feel strongly, and sometimes it is quite a relief to remember that Jesus wept too.

I've been doing a lot of weeping these days. I've also said some really hurtful things to people whom I still feel like deserved it (Proof of my brokenness). God has given me the ability to feel others pain?! No kidding!

I wrote all of that ^^ up there weeks ago. I couldn't finish it because I didn't know what to say or how I wanted to say it. My heart has been tangled up in a mess of emotions the last few weeks. I've felt the highest of highs in combination with the lowest of lows. I've been dealing with an enormous amount of brokenness. My family has been trying to muddle through a mess and pick up broken pieces, while at the same time trying to be ever so careful to not cause more brokenness. 

Forgiveness has always been easy for me. Unless you're my Mom. Sorry Mom! She seems to get the brunt of my sometimes unforgiving ways. I think it's always hardest to forgive the people you love most in your life. This is probably why I've been such a mess lately. If you know my parents, you know what they are dealing with sucks. Sucks doesn't even seem to cover it. The truth is that I'm heart broken by the demise of their marriage. I'm heart broken by choices they each have made. I'm heart broken by the way WE have ALL conducted ourselves in the past few weeks. I'm heart broken for my siblings who are innocent in all of this. I'm heart broken that I feel like my dad has died. I feel so much loss. I'm also angry but let's save that one for another time. I'm allowed my process. 

The beauty in all of this is that God restores and heals. I trust that. I believe that. I know this to be true. I'm ready to allow God to restore what is broken in me. I believe in forgiveness. I believe that everyone deserves to know they are loved and cherished and that they are children of the King Jesus Christ. 

To wait or not to wait...The Great Debate!

I'm so annoyed that I've taken to my blog to get some thoughts and opinions on the topic of waiting to live together until marriage. I thought a Facebook status that was paragraphs long would just be annoying and ridiculous.

So here we go...

My Fiance is so annoyingly perfect. He's kind, he's respectful, he's responsible, he's hilarious, he's super handsome, he encourages me, he supports me, and best of all, he's so ridiculously patient and understanding of my crazy. Fantastic right? I play back the moment he proposed to me over and over again because it was such a beautiful and perfect moment. I know without a doubt that having him in my life is a blessing from God. When the wedding planning began, I already knew who I wanted to marry us.

I have a special relationship with a Pastor from our church. He has been there through my faith journey and knows me so well. I look up to him and respect him not only as a man of God but as a dad, a husband, and a friend. I knew that I wanted him to be the one to marry Travis and I.

At the moment, Travis and I don't live together. I always said I would wait until I was married or engaged to live with him. So here we are...so excited about this journey together, picking out stuff for the house, organizing, cleaning, shopping, and then the Marriage Covenant smacks me in the face.

Can I say that I agree and disagree and not be exiled from the church? I started this blog a few years ago because being a Christian is hard. It's a fulfilling journey but OMG...it's tough. This is what I consider tough. This journey isn't for the lukewarm or just the fan of Jesus.  I do my best to follow his word but I fall short all the time. I'm not one to make excuses and say "Oh well, God forgives!" I get what the scriptures say and I understand this covenant but can I stomp my feet and just say that "We're going to live together because I want to and because it's going to save me money and since we're paying for this wedding ourselves it just makes sense!!!" Yes...why yes I could. Although, I'm sure God just heard "blah blah excuse blah."  I'm stubborn. So stubborn. Thanks Mom. The stubborn person in me reads this as "You have to be perfect in order to get married and not sin. Like ever. Seriously. If you want the church to support you." I'm not trying to be disobedient but this is annoying. I cant pick and choose which of God's commands are easiest and most fun to follow but in this moment. I want to. Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed...because deep down I know that I'm wrong and that waiting to live together will greatly bless our marriage. So what are your thoughts? I'll be over here pouting. Let me know.