So here we go...
My Fiance is so annoyingly perfect. He's kind, he's respectful, he's responsible, he's hilarious, he's super handsome, he encourages me, he supports me, and best of all, he's so ridiculously patient and understanding of my crazy. Fantastic right? I play back the moment he proposed to me over and over again because it was such a beautiful and perfect moment. I know without a doubt that having him in my life is a blessing from God. When the wedding planning began, I already knew who I wanted to marry us.
I have a special relationship with a Pastor from our church. He has been there through my faith journey and knows me so well. I look up to him and respect him not only as a man of God but as a dad, a husband, and a friend. I knew that I wanted him to be the one to marry Travis and I.
At the moment, Travis and I don't live together. I always said I would wait until I was married or engaged to live with him. So here we are...so excited about this journey together, picking out stuff for the house, organizing, cleaning, shopping, and then the Marriage Covenant smacks me in the face.
Can I say that I agree and disagree and not be exiled from the church? I started this blog a few years ago because being a Christian is hard. It's a fulfilling journey but OMG...it's tough. This is what I consider tough. This journey isn't for the lukewarm or just the fan of Jesus. I do my best to follow his word but I fall short all the time. I'm not one to make excuses and say "Oh well, God forgives!" I get what the scriptures say and I understand this covenant but can I stomp my feet and just say that "We're going to live together because I want to and because it's going to save me money and since we're paying for this wedding ourselves it just makes sense!!!" Yes...why yes I could. Although, I'm sure God just heard "blah blah excuse blah." I'm stubborn. So stubborn. Thanks Mom. The stubborn person in me reads this as "You have to be perfect in order to get married and not sin. Like ever. Seriously. If you want the church to support you." I'm not trying to be disobedient but this is annoying. I cant pick and choose which of God's commands are easiest and most fun to follow but in this moment. I want to. Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed...because deep down I know that I'm wrong and that waiting to live together will greatly bless our marriage. So what are your thoughts? I'll be over here pouting. Let me know.
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